Δ 7/11 & Takeaways from Ren Ci flag day

09 November 2013, 23:02

Things happened a few days ago and although I was crying like mad that night, I surprisingly felt a lot better the next day, because (1) I wrote this very long letter (that I eventually discarded) which really helped me straighten out my thoughts and (2) spending one whole afternoon doing nothing but browsing/reading a stack of (both sensible and brainless) books which helped me reorientate myself and brought me back to what I liked, was passionate yet forgot about. So yes I'm one happy girl now - although other crappy issues remain crappy - and I think there's this feeling/thought/thing that came over me to (1) just journal more often, even about every teenie weenie thing in life, so I'm going to try that, and (2) to shut up and listen. I actually find myself noisy, clogging my sens up with too much noise and perhaps judgements to clearly see and appreciate the world around me. So yupps, I'm trying to shut up a bit (though this is reallyyyyy hard to do omg, wanting me to not reply my whatsapp messages is so hard even when I've already told that group of friends that I won't really be replying - like what the heck right, I know.) But yeah, its pissing me off that I'm so loud and noisy, it's killing my own ears --.

Ok anyway, moving on, I was at a flag day for Ren Ci today and ok from today onwards, I'm gonna automatically walk up to the people doing any flag day (ok meh I might look at the organisation first) and contribute even that five (pretty pathetic) cents left in my wallet and not ignore anyone doing it and if possible even thank them for doing it. So what happened to day that totally changed my perspective of people doing flag day? I went for the flag day feeling so stupid for signing up, thinking that I wouldn't learn anything from such a CIP. And well, I was wrong because I learnt (quite a bit of) stuff.

One. We don't realise it individually but when you put together all that loose change we have left in our wallets, they actually amount to a lot - as proven by how the tins got heavier, and heavier, and heavier.

Two. I probably said more "thank you"s than I have ever said in my last 10 years or something; I thanked people who noticed my presence although they were not donating (yes there were people who walked past like you were invisible - like dude, I'm not gonna rob you even if you just said no thanks), thanked people who donated and thanked people who have already donated with other volunteers. Some may think it's weird thanking those who didn't donate (at all) but I just did it because I thought it was polite to ever since I met this one uncle at a coffeeshop who thanked us even when we decided not to order any drinks. AND the amazing thing is that this lady who initially didn't want to donate actually turned around and said, "I'm going to donate just because you said thank you." LIKE OMG THANK YOU.

Three. I'm pretty disappointed with most youths because those who donated were mostly aunties and uncles. I mean if you could afford a nice LV or burberry bag, you can probably afford to donate a 5 cent or 10 cent coin? - ok I admit that I was one of those annoying youths so I'm gonna change - Nonetheless I think I'm super grateful to this young guy who was the first who donated to my tin even while I was still blurring away and unsure of how to approach the people. So yupps, he actually came up to me and wanted to donate $10, and because he was rushing for the train and trying to squeeze the note into the tin through that small hole is quite frankly a pain, he actually trusted me to just tuck it in for him. I think what touched me was that he actually has the heart to donate and trusts in mere strangers to do the right thing and not steal the money per se. That really brightened up my day and encouraged me to do my best for that flag day and I was really enthusiastic in doing my best ok :D

Four. So I had this crazy idea to do something I always wanted to do, which is to approach strangers you wouldn't normally approach. So I approached this indian guy sitting around (and perhaps a bit shabbily dressed) and he actually wanted to donate, although he realised he didn't have any lose change and promised to go donate later. So I hope he donated, but even having the thought just brightens my day up because the others I've met just walked off saying they have no change without the intention of making that extra effort to change notes into coins and donate. Not to say that the others are wrong, bad or anything but I think having such a thought makes the guy exemplary (: And uhm there's this other indian guy, who was just sitting at the area at the back of the library and having his lunch. Usually I would think that this guy just looks like a foreign worker who wouldn't donate and move on but I don't know what got into me at that exact moment where I just smiled at him and asked him if he wanted to donate. (Even my friends were surprised, especially since we were on the way to taking a short break.) And guess what, HE DONATED! This kind of random kindness in strangers is just making my day so damn good and sunny.

Five. I'm just really impressed/touched by this lady who stopped to say a few words when she was dropping the coins into the tin. She said something along the lines of, "I'm a retiree so I'm just doing what I can; the patients in the hospital have their own set of problems uh. Thank you so much for doing this." Like omg, there are actually really really nice people in this world are not donating just to get a sticker and avoid the rest of the volunteers asking for donations, but rather people who sincerely care enough to even thank me as the volunteer. T-T My faith in humanity has just been restored completely.

Yes so that makes me one happy girl. I don't feel the hurt that I thought I would, I don't feel the dislike for the person that I thought I would, but instead I am completely at ease, feeling liberated, happy and grateful. Very grateful in fact. Thank you (-: