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About!
CHEONGYILEI
Me, I don't eat (most of) my veggies. I enjoy air-conditioners on humid mornings, ice-creams on cold evenings and sleeping on rainy nights. I'm a dreamer and a kpop lover. I like dark red roses and bright yellow sunflowers, but I hate artificial flowers. I like travelling and daydreaming a lot better than annotating literature texts though I like libraries, bookstores and thick a4-sized notebooks. I think its fun to scribble stuff - words, quotes, pictures, symbols - in my notebooks. I have a tendency of writing notes on foolscap and losing them ): Oh, I think I want to dye my hair red when I grow up. And and and, I think its pretty fun writing this.
CHEONGYILEI Me, I don't eat (most of) my veggies. I enjoy air-conditioners on humid mornings, ice-creams on cold evenings and sleeping on rainy nights. I'm a dreamer and a kpop lover. I like dark red roses and bright yellow sunflowers, but I hate artificial flowers. I like travelling and daydreaming a lot better than annotating literature texts though I like libraries, bookstores and thick a4-sized notebooks. I think its fun to scribble stuff - words, quotes, pictures, symbols - in my notebooks. I have a tendency of writing notes on foolscap and losing them ): Oh, I think I want to dye my hair red when I grow up. And and and, I think its pretty fun writing this.
Δ Table!
27 April 2014, 11:31
HA. I've got this crazy idea of how I'm gonna (custom make or something) my table just because I'm getting really OCD over the mess on my table. So it's gonna be a table made from a stack of mahjong paper so that I can have super easy access to paper. On top of that, it'll have be the foldable kind so as to force myself to keep my stuff after I've finished work (and probably stuff them into a shelf or something but that's another issue altogether). But hey, that saves space ok. Yeahhhh and its gonna be made from wood, proabably with (white?) metal legs, so that it looks awesome and hipster.
Hehe. Back to studying bio - Neo Darwinism is the theory of evolution that represents a synthesis of Darwin's theory... Blahblahblahblahblah.
Hehe. Back to studying bio - Neo Darwinism is the theory of evolution that represents a synthesis of Darwin's theory... Blahblahblahblahblah.
Δ Sighpies. Tumblr.
26 April 2014, 20:32
Just saw something on tumblr and its like memories memories memories. Gahhhh.
Δ French (& other issues)
25 April 2014, 22:19
I've been facing some issues in my life recently, some personal, some concerning my family, some my friends, so it's really a handful. And the thing is, none of which I really know how to approach. I mean, it's not new but it's just unpleasant..?
So the long and draggy and naggy drama that my life has pretty much been has a new element to it. Well, this stupid main character of the drama gets some horrible french results, that pretty much gave her a slap in the face. A slap to remind her of her unacceptable behaviour thtoughout the past few french classes as well as her changing attitude towards the subject.
So yes, I did really badly for French, so bad that I know I can't push the blame to anyone at all. Ever since the start of the year, or well, since those things happened, I am pretty much lost. I just don't know where to go from there. I just tried to suppress all of those emotions, like I told a friend, I prefer to be upset but calm. It kills me deep down inside sometimes but I guess I managed to get on with normal daily life pretty well. I had fun in school, found some really awesome friends and blah blah blah. Basically, everything is really alright except when the thoughts and the memories strike and refuse to leave. That's when I get a little snappy and abnormal but well. I'm still ohkay with that. But I guess the worst part of the fluctuating mood was french class, where I seem to gradually lost interest. My seat changed from the first row, right in front of the teacher's desk, to the corner seat of the last row. It's difficult to say this and I don't know how this is going to come out sounding but I think it's becaus meeting all these people, whether those who made me cry or those who watched me cry or those who stood by me while I cried, brought back so much memories sometimes. Memories that I didn't want to think about, just because I wouldn't know what to do with them. I guess writing this makes me see that I was pretty much in denial. Anyway, the french results came back and I immediately knew I had to stop this because this was getting me nowhere at all. It made me think about my passion and my enthusiasm for french, how it has changed and evoluted for the last five years and how stupid I was to be doing such things in the last lap. So, I started out with exploring a new language, then it became something more, something that was that interesting, then I met some of the most important people in my life, and then things didn't go that well and now I'm lost. I've been asing myself if French would have been a less important part of my life if I hadn't met the people, and my answer is I guess, yes and no. (Ok I'm starting tto fall asleep, sorry if I start getting incoherent) Yes because those people are that important, but no because I wouldve loved French anyway. The joys of learning a foreign language, of mastering a new means of communication, all these things were equally important. So yupps, I guess this is how I'm going too talk myself into working triply hard at the subject. I don't know, its tiring thinking about such things.
I'm so freaking tired. I just wish I had the superpower of healing everyone. Just like when I'm making a real attempt to help someone, I guess I hope to be some form of help, but turns out, I'm not. I'm pretty dispensible I guess. I don't know.
I'm so freaking tired. I just wish I had the superpower of healing everyone. Just like when I'm making a real attempt to help someone, I guess I hope to be some form of help, but turns out, I'm not. I'm pretty dispensible I guess. I don't know.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I'm addicted. Because I think I feel like an addict. Not going to explain this, this is too far off boundaries. Bye.
Δ Going crazy again
22 April 2014, 22:33
This is like one of those crazy days where you think about all the stupid things and feel all miserable and you regret something like mad and ya. Sometimes I hope there will be someone I can talk about these things to but then again this open up a can of worms and issues and it goes worse so I'm not going to say anything byebye
Δ Imma buyin it (I think)
20 April 2014, 00:18
It's been that long since I've actually craved buying an album because yupps, albums are not cheap and I can actually find the contents online and they're not exctly useful. Hence I'm normally quite hesitant; I'll spazz over it for 3 seconds, think twice, thrice or a lot more times and eventually forget about it. The only other albums that I actually feel so strongly about getting are the mirotic 3rd asia tour concert album (yes I have it (: ) and the tohoshinki final in tokyo dome concert (I regret not buying it so much now that it's out of print, ie rare and even more expensive). But omg, I just heard Mayday's Nowhere World Tour Live album and I can't even imagine how much I'm craving for it, possibly because it contains most of my favourite mayday songs (yesyesyes, all the songs that have accompanied me while I was down and emotional or when I was super high and excited or when I was singing croaking in the shower). Gonna get it <3 Ok, I'm trying to talk myself out of it but seriously this is so awesome I don't even. Time to check out prices >:D This is so retarded but I'm actually *that* excited at the thought of getting it. AHAHAHA (:
Δ Long weekend.
18 April 2014, 19:21
Yupps, its good friday. (Not exactly the best for me but well, got to be thankful for another peaceful day in life. I'm not even thinking that its cliché to say so anymore. #life) Anyway, for some weird reason, I tend to be down with flu or something every weekend, or well, long weekend. Hence, I am sleeping the majority of the time or I simply can't convince myself to get down to studying. I end up doing all kinds of pretty useless things, that being cleaning up my bookmarks today. I always thought they would be better off neatly categorized into specific folders, but now that I've done that, they all look so awkward and I'm so tempted to just merge them all back into one huge, main folder. But I guess it had been fun reading up a bit on what others are writing, I haven't exactly been keeping up with these things.
Anyway, things haven't exactly been alright but yeah I'm useless as heck to do anything about it as usual. I get really pissed and upset at times at how people think sometimes but argh, can't do anything about it. I just wish people could actually use their brains and be that tad bit more conscious of what they're actuallly saying, which is not only stupid, spiteful and seriously hurtful. Ok, then again, that sounds like me normally. Ugh -_-
Anyway, things haven't exactly been alright but yeah I'm useless as heck to do anything about it as usual. I get really pissed and upset at times at how people think sometimes but argh, can't do anything about it. I just wish people could actually use their brains and be that tad bit more conscious of what they're actuallly saying, which is not only stupid, spiteful and seriously hurtful. Ok, then again, that sounds like me normally. Ugh -_-
Δ Nothing.
16 April 2014, 21:14
Touch me not, for I may crumble into a million pieces.
In fear and in shame; in guilt.
Into nothing.
I don't even know what I'm typing.
In fear and in shame; in guilt.
Into nothing.
I don't even know what I'm typing.
Δ Hehe
13 April 2014, 13:16
Today happens to be a happy day. :D So uhm, this is pretty random a post. I basically followed a tutorial and did that. Well, I got a bit lazy in the end so I didn't really care about the details /: Anyway, I just just playing around on illustrator when I realised that the fonts that I had installed some time ago were missing for some weird reason, or maybe I just didn't install them on this computer, so yupps, I downloaded 16 fonts at a go haha. Sorry , being retarded again. Not sure how often I'm actually going to use them them but well, that was fun (:
Δ Blank.
12 April 2014, 15:22
Worried? Scared? Lost?
Same scenario different person, I don't even know what to do. Maybe I should start using the new notebook that kityin gave me, the cover page is pretty awesome and apt. Sigh. How I wish I could be better at this. Then they wouldn't have to/have had to suffer from so much pain.
Same scenario different person, I don't even know what to do. Maybe I should start using the new notebook that kityin gave me, the cover page is pretty awesome and apt. Sigh. How I wish I could be better at this. Then they wouldn't have to/have had to suffer from so much pain.
Δ We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time
10 April 2014, 23:15
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time"
- For the First Time, The Script
I was pondering over a suitable title for tonight's post when Spotify played this song. Surprisingly, today has been quite an eventful day and it really seems as though I'm meeting some people for the first time in my life. Or perhaps, this is just another side of them that I hadn't seen although I thought I had. Seeing one of my friends break down was like seeing a reflection of myself, like how I would normally buckle under stress. Maybe it's because such things seem strangely familiar from all that has happened in the past few months/years/whatever, watching the friend break down was a painful few minutes. I was somehow glad that at least I happened to be there, I guess, at least now someone else knows that the pain exists. After all, it is perhaps the worst when the pain is concealed and secretly chews at you beneath the surface. To me, it was pretty much a stark reminder to be situationally aware, be sensitive towards the people around me, as well as to look beneath the superficial traits to find something worthwhile in everyone, to see how every individual has come across the most unimagineable situations to become who they are today and not take it for granted. Then, I saw another friend sit beside me in a position as though trying to build a wall in between. I might be reading too much into the body language but I really doubt so. It's just sad how easily walls build between people, seemingly to suggest the fragility of relationships. But then again, haven't I been a strong believer of the realities and practicalities in human relationships and connections myself? Why am I then surprised at the seemingly multifaceted nature of such things? I guess a plausible explaination would be that I'm desperately trying to become a better person, a person more worthwhile of the love others shower upon me. These small things do disappoint me time and again, leaving me hanging somewhere in between nowhere. But I guess it's alright. I don't want to reget that I'm remeeting these people for another first time. I just want to learn to embrace who they are.
Ok I have a really bad headache. (Consequence of forgetting your towel and having to tie up your wet hair immediately for the whole day) I'm going to sleep it off, hopefully.
Δ A long overdue but equally awesome birthday post (:
02 April 2014, 21:18
First and foremost, I'm going to thank all these people for making this birthday such an awesome and special one. In no order: Si Jie, Sam, Ranald, Dennis, Jeshua, Zen, Kimberly, Hui Jun, Xin Wei, Yan Kay, Yen Ling, Vignesh, Jie Ying, Jing Jing, Cheryl, Kit Yin, Zi Ning, Ruo Yi, Beatrix, Joanna, Kimberly Tan, Kimberly Lum, Fang Ni, Si Hong, Daniel, my cousins, family and everyone else who was there at chalet (:
It's been quite a while since I've been on Facebook and people are constantly beingbombarded reminded with the respective birthdays. While I fully appreciate it when someone takes the time to leave even the shortest birthday note, those who make a point to remember and to take note of such special dates always come across as the most sincere to me. So this year, I removed the birthday reminder from facebook; surprisingly, those people aforementioned remembered. Some even went to the extent of organising surprises for me which made me really touched.
Surprise 01: Monday afternoon, Lunchtime
The girls (Zi Ning, Ruo Yi, Beatrix, Joanna, Kim Tan, Kim Lum) got me a small chocolate cake. To make sure I didn't see it, they waited for me to go queue up for food before setting up hurriedly, after which they went to get their own lunch, seeing that the Haw's Kitchen stall has the typically super ultra long queue which takes a pretty long time. However, when they saw me run out of patience and switch to another stall, they ditched their queues respectively and quickly rushed back so as to light the candles (and basically be there la). Like LOL, so cute!
Surprise 02: Monday night, after dinner
Si Jie accidentally said something along the lines of "whoa, I pok kai already, after paying for the cake" when paying Xin Wei for the chalet earlier in the afternoon but that didn't reveal the whole surprise. I had thought that they were just going to have an ultra simple get a cake, sing a birthday song kind of surprise that the girls did. (After all, hello, they're computer science geeks. Sometimes, stereotypes and clichés aren't that far from reality) But in fact, this was what they (Si Jie, Sam, Ranald, Dennis, Jeshua, Zen, Kimberly, Hui Jun, Xin Wei, Yan Kay, Yen Ling, Vignesh) did: first, they passed me a post with a post-it on it saying "Sorry, I ate your cake :)" which contained a polar cake box with the (damn cute) white seal ("of approval") stuffed inside. (By the way, I have no idea how they did it; I tried to place the seal back into the box afterwards but it just stubbornly refused to fit.) Next, they brought out a Pandan Cake with a (supposedly rose scented) fragrance candle (in a glass container of course) stuffed in the hole in the middle and sang me a birthday song. Oh goodness, I took like three or four tries before being able to blow out the candles finally. Just when I was fussing over the ways to cut the pandan cake (and super touched already), they brought in another proper black forest cake and sang me another birthday song. Yes, I was that surprised and touched at the extent to which they went to plan t____t
Other awesome things that happened: My family bought me a black forest cake too on Sunday night (: My mum even waited for it to be 2+ before she said happy birthday just because I was born at 2+; and my dad even made a point to call me, apologise for having to come home late because of work and wishing me happy birthday. Then, there was CCA chalet was on Monday night, which was super fun because I got to really interact with the juniors (yes I know more of their names now) even though quite a number who indicated attendance didn't turn up in the end. We watched Suria, played cards, had dinner (Macs! Jun Yi had the unfortunate forfeit of taking orders and buying food. Sadly my McSpicy burger never appeared although I still managed to find my iced Milo), had the surprise, trolled the juniors with a "exco interview", played Shoot, Shack, Marry and Truth or Dare together, had a movie marathon, fell asleep, woke up, had breakfast (at Macs again - claimed my free premium coffee that came with the alarm that loudly and awkwardly rang in class on monday morning, which I thought was some lizard calling and started looking for the lizard, only to realise like half a minute later that it was my phone) and went to play pool. Something else that made an impression during the chalet: one of the guys, Zen, was super nice; he passed me the pillow and pulled the blanket over me properly when he saw that I was falling asleep at night. (See, the guys aren't that bad and weird after all. ) In the afternoon, I went out with Jie Ying for lunch at Fish&Co. at 313 Somerset after chalet on Tuesday afternoon, before going for french class. (#studentmeal #cheapos #broke #fishandchips #fries #fat #goingtofailNAPFA Ok, I don't know what's with those hashtags, whoops). Yupps and I crashed at 9 on tuesday night. Apparently age has caught up, sleeping two hours a day is no longer enough.
This should be it although I'll still be going out for birthday meals with friends over the next few weeks. Ok I'm sorry this became a partial cca chalet post but I can't help it since they are so close and both were that awesome. (: I'm so thankful for this birthday,thankful that I'm 18and thus legal to get drinks and for al the good things I've seen in the people around me, that has definitely made me want to be better than who I am today.
It's been quite a while since I've been on Facebook and people are constantly being
Surprise 01: Monday afternoon, Lunchtime
The girls (Zi Ning, Ruo Yi, Beatrix, Joanna, Kim Tan, Kim Lum) got me a small chocolate cake. To make sure I didn't see it, they waited for me to go queue up for food before setting up hurriedly, after which they went to get their own lunch, seeing that the Haw's Kitchen stall has the typically super ultra long queue which takes a pretty long time. However, when they saw me run out of patience and switch to another stall, they ditched their queues respectively and quickly rushed back so as to light the candles (and basically be there la). Like LOL, so cute!
Chocolate cake from the girls! (:
Surprise 02: Monday night, after dinner
Si Jie accidentally said something along the lines of "whoa, I pok kai already, after paying for the cake" when paying Xin Wei for the chalet earlier in the afternoon but that didn't reveal the whole surprise. I had thought that they were just going to have an ultra simple get a cake, sing a birthday song kind of surprise that the girls did. (After all, hello, they're computer science geeks. Sometimes, stereotypes and clichés aren't that far from reality) But in fact, this was what they (Si Jie, Sam, Ranald, Dennis, Jeshua, Zen, Kimberly, Hui Jun, Xin Wei, Yan Kay, Yen Ling, Vignesh) did: first, they passed me a post with a post-it on it saying "Sorry, I ate your cake :)" which contained a polar cake box with the (damn cute) white seal ("of approval") stuffed inside. (By the way, I have no idea how they did it; I tried to place the seal back into the box afterwards but it just stubbornly refused to fit.) Next, they brought out a Pandan Cake with a (supposedly rose scented) fragrance candle (in a glass container of course) stuffed in the hole in the middle and sang me a birthday song. Oh goodness, I took like three or four tries before being able to blow out the candles finally. Just when I was fussing over the ways to cut the pandan cake (and super touched already), they brought in another proper black forest cake and sang me another birthday song. Yes, I was that surprised and touched at the extent to which they went to plan t____t
The only glam-ish chalet photo
Blackforest cake at home! :D
Other awesome things that happened: My family bought me a black forest cake too on Sunday night (: My mum even waited for it to be 2+ before she said happy birthday just because I was born at 2+; and my dad even made a point to call me, apologise for having to come home late because of work and wishing me happy birthday. Then, there was CCA chalet was on Monday night, which was super fun because I got to really interact with the juniors (yes I know more of their names now) even though quite a number who indicated attendance didn't turn up in the end. We watched Suria, played cards, had dinner (Macs! Jun Yi had the unfortunate forfeit of taking orders and buying food. Sadly my McSpicy burger never appeared although I still managed to find my iced Milo), had the surprise, trolled the juniors with a "exco interview", played Shoot, Shack, Marry and Truth or Dare together, had a movie marathon, fell asleep, woke up, had breakfast (at Macs again - claimed my free premium coffee that came with the alarm that loudly and awkwardly rang in class on monday morning, which I thought was some lizard calling and started looking for the lizard, only to realise like half a minute later that it was my phone) and went to play pool. Something else that made an impression during the chalet: one of the guys, Zen, was super nice; he passed me the pillow and pulled the blanket over me properly when he saw that I was falling asleep at night. (See, the guys aren't that bad and weird after all. ) In the afternoon, I went out with Jie Ying for lunch at Fish&Co. at 313 Somerset after chalet on Tuesday afternoon, before going for french class. (#studentmeal #cheapos #broke #fishandchips #fries #fat #goingtofailNAPFA Ok, I don't know what's with those hashtags, whoops). Yupps and I crashed at 9 on tuesday night. Apparently age has caught up, sleeping two hours a day is no longer enough.
This should be it although I'll still be going out for birthday meals with friends over the next few weeks. Ok I'm sorry this became a partial cca chalet post but I can't help it since they are so close and both were that awesome. (: I'm so thankful for this birthday,thankful that I'm 18
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