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Δ on architectural career

07 November 2019, 20:23

I haven't been writing here in a while because I haven't had the occasion to sit down and reflect about life. It all seemed like a given to graduate, find a job quickly given the soft market and then just work your way through life. I always think about the opening lines to the movie, Our Times, where the main character muses about her life.

我常常幻想長大後的我會是怎樣的。

從理想的學校畢，業發揮才華，實現夢想，然好遇到一份完美的愛情。我的人生會像鑽石一樣閃閃發光。

從來沒有人告訴我長大之後你可能做一份不怎樣的工作，談一場不怎麼樣的感情，將就著過一段不怎麼樣的生活。

I can't help but to look at the main character and think about my current situation. My job has no stress but no demands, no expectations. It's almost like an expectation to finish and end work on time; the goal is not to excel but to finish. The job is to draw over a sketchup export, not to draw from plan, who cares if the lines don't match at right angle. The job is to get a clearance, who cares if the architecture in the drawing is sub par, we can worry about that later. Somehow the rather simplistic mindset of 'just get it done' in the office worries me more than what I should probably be worried about.

Going to work has almost become a clockwork motion, the work a matter of manual labour. I don't take pride in my work, and to be honest, that sucks. Then again, is it my work? Am I not just a slave, a worker, an overpaid draftsperson? The jobscope is, strictly, to draw and to liaise for authority submissions, it is not in my job to design, to think. My job is to draw. It is not my job to think.

My job is not to think.

I can't help but sigh at the ridiculous nature of the situation, that I've spent almost half of my life, outthinking (or at least making a lot of effort trying to outthink) everybody else, preparing for 'challenges of the 21st century', only to find myself somewhere in the mess of a mindless, menial and laborious task. I wonder if students in school now know of this sad fact, that they might all be overqualified, or perhaps more accurately misqualified, for the work in which they would be engaged in the future. Perhaps I should have taken a drafting course. Perhaps I should have taken part in some speed CADing competition or joined some networking club to get to know all these officers that you'd be dealing with.

And the worse part may be that I'm stuck in this rut, with knowledge of this pathetic situation, but without the courage and/or wisdom to step out of it.

On a brighter note, I've finally witnessed what a difference it can make between a sharp and a not-so-sharp contractor is. I guess it's at least one thing that I can definitely work on, to become sharp on site. At least it's not all that pointless!