Δ Mlle Fournier!!!! and etc

26 August 2014, 23:09

Yes, she came back to Singapore during her holidays and she colluded with M. Quenot to pull a joke on us. M. Quenot went out halfway in his usual "Oh man I left something in the staffroom again, sorry, give me a minute" attitude and Mlle Fournier rushed in like a minute later saying "Tournez à la page 23!" I only heard her voice at first, I got a shock and thought I was hallucinating. But no, she's actually here in person Omg, it took me three seconds to register. She's much tanner now but still as pretty as ever n_n M. Quenot was hilarious, he told us he was considering if he should've teamed up with us instead to give us a counter surprise hahaha, and he jokingly commented that he should've said "Give me a minute, I'm going out for a change of gender" To me, it was pretty awkward at first 'cause everybody was so surprised, no one knew how to respond nor did anyone know what to say to her. Yupps yupps, I'm so happy I'm speechless, I don't even know what to type here.

But uh idk, I want to rant about something else. I feel like I don't know what am I doing with me life. I guess going for the US essay talk today reminded me of this? It's a bare 600 words I think, yet it is all that you have to show what you are. So what is it that makes you stand out, that makes you you, that makes you sound like you in 600 words? Even the Psychometric Assessment Examination for PSC scholarship used 5 areas, 9 sub categories and 10 pages to attempt to sum me up. It's like I don't know what I want to do and I don't know how to find what I want to do (or maybe it's simply too late) and I just ain't doing enough. It doesn't help that As are around the corner and I feel like I'm blindly studying sometimes. And while almost everybody studies in pairs or groups, I camp at the computer alone, more than occassionally allowing myself to turn allow to look at these lucky people. They all seem like they fit right in and I'm just out of place. Funny thing is, sometimes I feel so at ease with this solitary lifestyle but sometimes it just overwhelms me. And that's bloody stupid and uncool.

Here we are again
I feel the chemicals kickin' in
It's gettin' heavier
I wanna run and hide
I wanna run and hide
- Animal, Neon Trees

(Just had this random idea about how much people would hate me if they read my blog lol sighs)

Δ ): missed the opportunity to apologise so here goes

14 August 2014, 21:36

Sorry, I was rude today. Shouldn't have asked why didn't you guys sit with the rest, that was rude and stupid. Don't know how it sounded to you guys, but yupps sorry ): Sorry there wasn't any other chance to apologise... Hope yall didn't mind. /:

Δ ((: "I am pure adrenaline"

07 August 2014, 23:52

I really can't describe how I feel right now because I'm quite a terrible writer but the quote from divergent seems to sit just right. It's not as if it was perfect but there were just certain things I did that made me super duper happy, so here goes:

It started out with reaching school (half awake) three minutes before 7. I met Dennis in the room and we were just talking about stuff and I ended up persuading (okay, more of  forcing to be honest) him not to do his work and we went down early because the ndp songs were playing hehe. I managed to jio sijie down to the parade square too (((: (Love how I get to bully the guys sometimes hehe)

Ok then the not so cool part is receiving my result slip, but ah well. Moving on, so after school, Zining and I went to run in the gym. (Spoilers: I did something so embarrassing I don't even.) So, I went to shower after jogging and Zi Ning was waiting in the toilet for me when she met our PE teacher, and she asked Zi Ning about her gymming. Overhearing the convo, I ended up all jumpy in the shower cubicle and made weird noises I suppose, which lead to my teacher asking who I was. And yupps my identity was revealed. =_= So a while later, thinking my teacher was gone, I said "Zi Ning hi I'm gonna kill you." And guess what, my teacher was still there. Omg, it was so embarrassing I didn't dare to come out of the cubicle until my friend burst out in laughter when my teacher left.

Ok then it was time for french, where I happened to take the same train as Kay Yang and Si Hong. We even walked over (: I don't know why he was okay with walking over in his crutches but well he was, so heh. And the awesome thing is that although it was really awkward at first, things weren't that bad in the end so, yeahhhh! But well yeah, french class was boring as usual. There was this fill in the blanks question and you know what, I got one question correct out of the one and a half pages

Then there was class party where we went to Nicholas' house. We barbecued (I didn't but ohkay), we ate, we played with the photogenic dog (it seriously looks better in photos) we played cards and we had fun (: It was just a terribly good day.

Δ Allegiant - quotes

01 August 2014, 22:28

(:

"At first I look at every building we pass, wondering what it once housed, and then they start to blend together for me. How many different kinds of ruin do you have to see before you resign yourself to calling it all “ruin”? "
"I used to think that when people fell in love, they just landed where they landed, and they had no choice in the matter afterward. And maybe that’s true of beginnings, but it’s not true of this, now. I fell in love with him. But I don’t just stay with him by default as if there’s no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me."
"Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life. That is the sort of bravery I must have now."

There's no happy ending yikes ):

But anyway, I thought I'd just jot this down. I was just talking to a friend about happiness/sadness and idk, I just felt like it's important for me to writte something down. I guess at the end of the day, its just about trying your best. I chose to run away in denial from all my fears, burying them as deep as possible, in exchange for some form of optimism, but that makes me superficial. I become an image that contains and shows just that much and I guess I'm just trying to make the best out of my life right now, to try to convince myself that I made the right choice, and perhaps thats all that matters in the end.