thorthlog.

bienvenue x:

About!

CHEONGYILEI
Me, I don't eat (most of) my veggies. I enjoy air-conditioners on humid mornings, ice-creams on cold evenings and sleeping on rainy nights. I'm a dreamer and a kpop lover. I like dark red roses and bright yellow sunflowers, but I hate artificial flowers. I like travelling and daydreaming a lot better than annotating literature texts though I like libraries, bookstores and thick a4-sized notebooks. I think its fun to scribble stuff - words, quotes, pictures, symbols - in my notebooks. I have a tendency of writing notes on foolscap and losing them ): Oh, I think I want to dye my hair red when I grow up. And and and, I think its pretty fun writing this.

Δ 我只喜歡你

02 June 2019, 01:38

我很久沒來這裡寫日記了。這裡幾乎不再是生活習慣中的一部分了。但今天看了「我只喜歡你」這一部劇，突然感觸良多。剛開始看這部劇時我以為那純粹是一部腦殘的青春愛情劇，但劇中描述到女主在學習生涯中所遇到的大小困難卻讓我想起小時候的我。

家境一般，學習能力差、學校朋友家庭的各種期望與顧慮，想做什麼都綁手綁腳的。雖然跟其他人所面對的問題真的不值一提，但問題在於平凡的我連困難都是平凡的，讓我覺得自己就是茫茫人海中不起眼的一個，不管多努力結局也一樣。那段時間在我回憶裡有著說不出的艱辛。

現在總算來到學生生涯的尾端，人也長大學會放棄了。雖然有時會覺得自己是瀟灑離去但心裡清楚的很，我只是不想回到那時候的我。我寧願自欺欺人也不願意回到過去。

懦弱的我能大膽地放眼未來嗎……
我好不確定。