Δ Wherever life takes you

16 May 2015, 10:07

Sometimes it just takes seemingly pivotal events like university choices to teach you life lessons. For me at least, it really did. After what seemed like lightyears of contemplation, I have finally decided to stay at sutd. Initially, I was somewhat biased against the school because it failed to impress in many ways. The students, to me, just weren't outspoken enough in general. They just didn't strike me as outstanding and I was afraid that I would just become like one of them. I wanted to retain the image of being both a brilliant thinker and an eloquent speaker typical of Rafflesians. But after spending much time pondering over everything, I guess I eventually came to a conclusion that some things are really less important than we think it is.

I asked myself many questions. If I really believed in the paper chase, then would the bachelor's degree would sufficient? Would I want to be a small fish in a medium-large pond, or a big fish in a small pond? What mattered more: what was offered or what I made out of what was offered? I thought hard and I reflected on my past experiences. As I so often do, I went back to my experience of learning french. In retrospect, I didn't even know what the syllabus was or how the culture behind the language was. It was a last minute decision to apply for French over Japanese. I didn't give my choice much thought, but what I did, was to make the most out of my choice. Similarly, whichever institution I go will each offer me a good dose of opportunities, albeit each in its own fashion. The choice of instution then, simply boils down to a question of how many carrots they dangled before me.

I guess the moral of the story at the end of the day is that, sometimes, overthinking does little help. The wonder and beauty of life is perhaps having you to follow it into the unknown future and embrace whatever comes in your way.

I should post a little on my hectic week at sutd but homework!!!!! I'll provide updates on it a little later! (:

Δ Smithereens

06 May 2015, 01:36

Smithereens

Δ Decisions decisions.

02 May 2015, 22:31

Now that 750 and 760 are out, Canon 700d is on sale. Kit I is going for a mere $899, the guy at the Gain City sale today even offered it to me at $799. Keeping in mind that 750 is priced at a not-so-budget-friendly of around $1300, that means I can get my 50mm f1.4 lens too if I just get the 700d. Sigh, but no matter what, the sum of money is still more than a month's pay? And more importantly, the money could be spent more meaningfully. ): ): ): Not to mention that my family isn't that supportive at all, for example, I'm quite sure mummy is just saying ok because I've been asking for a DSLR since sec 1? Sec 2? I don't even remember. But I guess if I could wait that long, then maybe I could just wait a little longer? /: And if I just keep waiting like that, I would save up a lot more money and spend all of it more meaningfully. Sigh why am I such a spendthrift.

Anyway, some updates about my (complicated) going-to-uni-soon life? SMU accepted me for Social Sciences but the chances of me accepting are 0.0001%? Or maybe less actually. SUTD also offered me a place, along with a scholarship covering all tuition fees in the four years and a fully funded exchange to Zhejiang University (under the Asian Leadership Programme, they call it). Sounds like a pretty awesome package isn't it? Well, it managed to convince my sis and my dad to attend the acceptance tea last Saturday on the 25th of april. However, I'm sorry to say, the acceptance tea was sincerely a disappointment. They didn't market themselves as well as they could in my opinion. They didn't even convince me who was already biased towards them back then, not to say my dad and my sis. In fact, my interest level in the school dropped, I mean, what if I became like that too? Like what my dad says, what they had showcased that day had to be their best. (Imagine how the normal/the worst would be like then. Uhhuh. ) Anyway, because of their enticing offer, I finally accepted SUTD, on the condition that there were no penalty to speak of if I withdrew before 6 May, which is matriculation day. I even went for the scholarship ceremony today. Yay. Unfortunately, my parents could not make it because of their work and sis was well, lazing about in Suzhou. Oh well, at least she was actively replying my whatsapp messages during the ceremony. Kudos to my sis. So here's an anxious me waiting for NUS to accept me. I've decided to transfer if they offered me law or architecture.

Oh wow, even law? Now here's why. After all this time, I have come to realise that no matter what my family says about following my dreams, doing what I like, they still would very very very much like for me to go into the faculties that are generally stereotyped as the best and the most money making. Ahem nus bukit timah campus or medicine. Sometimes it feels like their double standards scare me. To others, they say "wow, this career choice is not bad. There's a million awesome career prospects. (Add three thumbs up)" but to me, only that few are good. To a certain extent, it saddens me because they don't really understand what I want to grow up into? But then again, am I myself sure of who I want o grow up into? I doubt so, so I can't really blame them either.

If I had to use an analogy to describe my perplexed emotions, it would be a plate of pasta. Look at it, it's a tomato base al dente spaghetti with meatballs. I can't really eat beef meatballs, but hey! I can make do, not to mention the dish looks pretty damn good. But when it comes down to eating, the OCD one would realise that there's no way to preserve the beauty just presented in front of you. You mix the sauces in and the pasta gets really intertwined. You don't fork each spaghetti out one by one, but twirl it again on the fork and here comes a really mess of spaghetti on the fork. Edible, but messy. (It's just like how my results are not great but more than decent. However, the results, when placed side by side with that of others', is just a mess and not tup to standard. And things get messier from there for university applications because the offers I am getting isn't bad. In fact, they are all considerably very good programmes, but because I've been a mess thus far, it does not seem as appealing as it is. ) I hope that makes some kind of sense. I hope.